Hula Hoops in the Trees


Today has been weird. Today has been strange. Today has been a roller-coaster day.

This morning, while getting ready to go out to the grocery stores, I received a phone call telling me that our precious loved one was in the hospital again.  I am glad she is getting help but honey, it’s scary and hard to be so far away.  We left the house to go out and as I pull out of the driveway, I notice a little something special in the tree…it’s a hula hoop.  I asked the boys who had the powerful hips to get it up there. The two youngest ones were playing with them yesterday while oldest was at football.  H said he tossed it up there so they could play Ringball – an ancient Mayan game.  Have I mentioned how brilliant and creative he is? 🙂  I took a picture to remember it.

After the magnificent discovery in the foliage, we were off! We decided to stop at JCPenney to look for those elusive tennis shoes from yesterday. We walked the entire mall. Seriously. No shoes unless we wanted to pay a huge-a-mongous prices for them, which we don’t. We did happen upon a clearance section at Dillards in the Big and Tall department. Now, if you have ever shopped for someone who needs “Big and Tall,”  you will appreciate that we found a sale.  If you have ever shopped for my supertall hubby, you’ll shout for joy with me that we found some really nice shirts he can wear to the office and even on Sundays for rock-bottom prices.  Mr Wonderful met us at Dillards to try on the selections I made. We had a grand time. The boys love seeing their Daddy in the middle of the day. They were starting to get a little wonky so his presence fixed them all up.

After lunch, I drove to KMart. Can I say “UGH?”  Can you say “UGH” with me?  It is gross. It is awful. The only time I have been I stated that I would never go back, and yet there I was, lured by the double coupons on Proctor and Gamble products. Gentle Reader, you are in for a treat with this story, so sit back and enjoy it.

Chapter 1:  I called two days ago and spoke to a manager who told me that yes, they were doubling Proctor and Gamble coupons at that store this week. No, they were not doubling any other coupons, just P&G.

Chapter 2: As soon as I entered the store, I stopped at Customer Service and asked about the coupons again. Specifically, I asked about the ONE COUPON I HAD. Would they double it,  as it was $2.50 off to begin with? Yes, they say.

Chapter 3: The boys and I dodge what looks like the remains of a shootout at the KMart Corral all over the floors and make our to the laundry section. We spot the Bounce dryer pads. They are on the top shelf (of course) and there is no price on them.

Chapter 4: The boys and I search high and low and finally find a price scanner in the hardware department. Price on Bounce pads: $5.49.  You have got to be kidding me!  This is a lot of money for the small pack of these things. I put it in my cart anyway and head up to the register.  There are 14 registers, yet only two are open. Story of my life.

Chapters 5 and 6: I wait in line while the checker tries to scan items of lady in front of me unsuccessfully. This transaction of 5 items (not kidding) takes 15 minutes. Customer Service is called over 3 times to assist. “Why don’t you stay?” I plead with my eyes.  I need to mention our KMart doesn’t seem to feel it’s necessary to run the air conditioning in their store, so it’s hot. I take that back…it’s nasty hot.

Chapter 7: It’s my turn at the register. I have one item and one coupon.  I should have to pay $0.49 in cash. Checkout girl scans item. She scans the coupon. It doesn’t double. She tells me I owe $2.XX. I tell her the coupon is supposed to double. She tries again. It doesn’t work. She calls Customer Service and speaks to them in Spanish. Customer Service girl tries the same transaction and the coupon won’t double. She asks me to follow her to the customer service booth. I follow.

Chapter 8: Customer Service girl and I arrive together to the booth. She decides to help a lady standing there before finishing my transaction. I frown because I don’t like confrontation, but I want her to know I don’t like this turn of events. That’s the way I roll. I’d like to mention that the Customer Service chick I spoke to upon entering the store is nowhere to be seen. She has disappeared like a vapor. It is October, after all.

Chapter 9: She decides it’s my turn and attempts the transaction again. Still, no.  She calls the mysterious Manager on the intercom who doesn’t respond. The boys are climbing on a display of Care Bears card tables. I let them. She tries the transaction again. Still, no cigar. She calls someone else on the phone who says it must not be the week of the promotion. I tell her it is. I tell her I called ahead of time and spoke to Customer Service before shopping. She looks at me like I just told her I was a member of the Cirque de Soleil. She tells me to look through the store ad. If I see anything about the coupon promotion, then they are having it. If not…you know the rest.

Chapter 10: I look through the ad. No surprise here – there’s nothing about the coupons. She says, “see, nothing,”  like she knew all along.  I tell her to give me back my coupon, (and I did not use “please”) and I gather the boys from the tower of boxes and leave. I say loudly, “WE ARE NEVER COMING BACK TO THIS STORE…NEVER.” It makes me feel better to make that declaration, but I know they don’t care. We were there for 40 minutes. 40 sweaty, angry, pitiful minutes. I won’t go back. Even if they double coupons on everything.

So, the hula hoop was still in the tree when we got home (we went to Wally World for the regular shopping and had a glorious time).  It made me smile.  By now, I hope you are smiling, too.



5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kristy Noeninckx
    Oct 01, 2009 @ 20:27:41

    yucky. yucky. yucky


  2. gina
    Oct 01, 2009 @ 20:43:27

    For someone who doesnt even live in the same state as I do we shop at the same Kmart–or should I say SHOPPED–never again


  3. Lauren
    Oct 02, 2009 @ 13:56:23

    Oh, girl!!!! That is HORRBILE!!! I admire you that you stayed that long, or even went in the first place!


  4. Christina
    Oct 02, 2009 @ 16:19:23

    Wow! good job on the Dillards shirts, though!


  5. Amanda
    Oct 03, 2009 @ 21:19:19

    oh my, I was hoping for the best. Too bad their store doesn’t live up to their commercials.


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