This that and the other

I woke up missing. Missing my parents, Tommy’s parents, our sisters. I went from people to places. I was missing our old church, (including our sweet friends), my Kroger and even Highway 114. I don’t know what came over me. Was it the thought that we are about to close on the old house; was it the stress that the closing and roof repairs are causing us? I didn’t know.  I went downstairs and began to get ready for my meeting and turned on some Keith Urban on the Ipod. He knew just how I felt. I just wanted to cry. Unless you have gone through something similar to this journey that began in March, 2008 you might not understand. It seems as if I might be caught between knowing that this is His will, and therefore the best thing for me, and our old life. The familiarity of our old life was as tempting to me as the Hot Now sign at Krispy Kreme. Yet the thing is, I would never want that for Tommy. He no longer feels displaced. He is walking on the very path he was always destined to walk upon.  I wonder how long I’ll feel this way. Will I always have a draw to where our family lives and we do not? I don’t miss any of the other places I used to live. I have fond memories, but that’s it. It has to be the gravitational pull of our family that is tugging at my limbs and heart and mind. I am feeling every fissure from this stretching in my soul, I think.

In other news, I hated the salmon I made tonight.

~Janna